Queen Kylie's

for almost one month, i am still unable to truly face myself with the reality standing in front of me.

each & every time i open the google chrome browser, i've already set it to automatically open few pages i've added in the settings. for the 3 weeks, i don't even dare to open the browser because i feel pressured to open due to the drastic drop of my blog statistics & also all the memories i've had with these tabs, including gmail which we love to chat there, FB which there are a lot of photos with memories, and blog with even more stories & memories we've recorded down throughout the 2 years.

i told myself not to cry & i did it. i am able to swallow back all the tears at the moment. i told myself to be rational.

this is also the first time i've sick for almost one month & have not recovered. crying in the dream, fearing in both the conscious & subconscious minds, it's trauma. i don't know whether i should express my feeling here but seriously, the impact is far more worse & horrible than what i expected.

i've been so emo until i hate myself so much. may be it's the matter of time. it is...